ProphetFighting

Evening at The Improv with Bas Rutten…

First the backstory–there’s this conspiracy theory that Kimbo Slice’s “grown ass man” beard is an unfair advantage since it “absorbs punches”. Kimbo’s trainer, Bas Rutten, responded to this today on his website and its one of the funniest things I’ve read all week. I can’t read that “glue hair on air bags” blast without laughing….

Hey guys! First I thought that it was a joke, but now I read that people actually really believe that the beard absorbs punches? Man, I couldn’t write this message for about 5 minutes, I was laughing so uncontrollably hard, its really one of the dumbest things I have ever heard!

A person that I work with got an email from somebody saying that I shouldn’t train N******, yep the N word, more dumb stuff that goes along with people like that, and also that Kimbo cheated because his beard would absorb the punches. I told my friend not to react on it because obviously it was an 8 year old kid or somebody on the same brain level, I mean, the beard absorbs the shock?

I wish that we had to do the Nat Geo episode MMA science again. We cut of a bunch of hair of Kimbo’s beard and glue it on the head of the crash test dummy (you must see by now that if you “picture this” that it really is unbelievably dumb right?) than let Tito elbow, and me hit the head, measure the impact, take the hair of and do it again.
Do you really think that will be making a difference? If you think that, you probably also think that Superman is real (his hair is really strong), because that’s where it probably comes from, people who think that comics are real.

This is a beard from hair for crying out loud. If you believe this than you have to believe also that Kimbo has also less speed because the beard is not aerodynamic and will slow his head movement down, so that will make up for the impact absorbing BS, hahaha, man, they should glue some hair on air bags, people now will survive the crash because the one layer of beard took the impact away.

I picked up my family late yesterday evening from the airport; they had a later flight than me coming back from Miami. I asked my wife and my 11 year old if Kimbo was cheating because the beard would take away the impact of a punch (I REALLY didn’t make any judgments, just asked them point blanc), they asked me if I was serious and I told them that I read it on the internet, the reaction was a big laugh, not even an answer yes or no. Just to mention one more time, my daughter is 11 years old.

But, if you want to be right, OK, there will be of course a miniscule difference, if they have the equipment to measure such small differences on such great impact, I think it will be about the same as hitting something, than put a plastic bag over it and hit it again.

Bas Rutten LOL’s at the “Kimbo beard” conspiracy theorists @ BasRutten.TV

It did get me thinking about another way to disprove the theory that hair is the “impenetrable shield” necessary to absorb the impact of punches, kicks,etc: consider the career of pro wrestler (and current TNA booker) Dutch Mantell. For those of you not familiar with Mantell, he’s a hairy dude. One of the few funny comments I’ve read on YouTube was for a match featuring a “young Dutch Mantell” to which a poster responded that he was “shocked to find out that Mantell had ever been young” and that he assumed that he’d “popped from his mother’s womb with a full beard and hairy back”. Mantell had a very good career in pro wrestling, primarily in the Memphis area–he was solid in the ring and very good on the mic back when wrestling interviews were a product of a legit quick wit and not repetitive, banal catch phrases. He was one of the rare performers in the business who was believable in whatever role he was in and much like Harley Race or Johnny Valentine gave of the vibe that he could kick some ass in real life–an essential quality during the pre “sports entertainment” era.

Based on his body hair, however, were it the kevlar like substance theorized by the “Kimbo’s beard” conspiracy theorists he–and not Ali–would have been known as “The Greatest” since there would be no way to inflict pain upon Mantell’s head or body.

Scott Bowden, who’s as good (and funny) a wrestling writer as you’ll find, remembers Mantell’s heyday here

Here’s a pic of “Dirty Dutch” back in the day followed by a YouTube clip of a great Mantell promo followed by a heel turn on “Superstar” Bill Dundee. Dundee wasn’t assigned the role of an Australian circa early 1970′s Elvis impersonator it just worked out that way. It was Memphis after all…the video also features the great Lance Russell on commentary. This is one of my personal favorite Mantell interviews, but there’s plenty of others out there which go a long way toward explaining of how the Memphis promotion put thousands of butts in the seats of Mid South Coliseum week after week after week for so many years:

[tags]MMA, mixed martial arts, Bas Rutten, Kimbo Slice, pro wrestling, Memphis, USWA, Bill Dundee, Dutch Mantell, Lance Russell[/tags]

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